Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the experiences I’ve had with people I’ve come across in my life and putting them all together in my Rolodex containing nuggets of wisdom from lessons learned. Honestly, I only call them lessons, because it’s taken me quite a few runs and mashups in my life to finally get it.

It’s funny, we meet all types of people in our lives and more often than not, we remember how they made us feel. Doesn’t the quote go, “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” I sit here and think about all of the people that I’ve met and the ones who are still around and play a significant part in my life. One thing that proves itself to be true: when people show you who they are, believe them.

If someone consistently shows you that they’re unkind, manipulative, toxic, or mean spirited… believe them! That’s who they are, and there is nothing you can do to change that. This can apply to an intimate relationship or even friends and family. I don’t know if it’s all the fantasy books I read as a kid that led me to believe that people will eventually change, be better, and do better (i.e. Severus Snape - thanks J.K. Rowling), but they don’t. At least not if they don’t want to. Now I’m not here to be pessimistic either. I’m actually very much the optimist and tend to believe the best in (most) people. However, I think it’s so important for people to get that folks are who they are and the best thing you can do is believe it when they tell you or show you. Period.

On the other hand, there are those who are willing to change. There are those of us who are making the effort to become better people. And I truly believe that every day you should wake up and strive to be better than you were the day before. It’s definitely important to me that I live my life this way. Everyone is entitled to mistakes, screw-ups, and lesser than moments. It happens. But if someone is showing consistent behavior, it’s up to you to learn the lesson and believe that this is who they are and place them in (or out) of your life accordingly.

And that’s that on that.

Check out a word from Elder Maya Angelou in a video clip below. Remember, by being attentive and observant, we can more quickly reward those we believe in, and turn loose those we don’t. Tell us your story of awakening in the comments below!

XO.