Rejection is a Redirection
I'm sitting here on a random getaway for the holiday weekend and as I sit here, I'm thinking about where my life has taken me. It's been a road of finding myself and being the best version of myself. However, it hasn't been all peaches and cream. A while ago, I went through one of the worst transitions in my life. By transition, I mean, a breakup. No sugar coating it, it was horrible. I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't ready for it. I felt like my world was falling apart and I felt like I couldn't breathe, move, love or be loved again. In moments like this, you feel like nothing will ever get better; you feel almost as if you're the only person who will ever go through something like this. You wonder how you will get through this? How will you make it on the other side and be at peace? How can this rejection be a good thing?
One of the main things I focused on during this transition in my life was how great it would feel to be happy and in a better place than I ever dreamed I would be. Often times, we tend to think that the love we lost was the end all be all; that we will never feel someone else's love again and that we will never be "happy" again. However, once I started thinking that this rejection in my life, was just a redirection on to something better, things finally started to turn around for me.
The first step was finally figuring out that someone's rejection doesn't mean I'm not worth it, it doesn't mean I'm not worthy of love and happiness in my life. When these things happen, don't you think, "What did I do?", "What could I have done differently?". It is TOUGH. Those thoughts often consume you and they can make even the most secure person feel less confident and, in turn, mentally and emotionally beating themselves up. After a stage of this, I said to myself "Self, Stop It. You are fabulous, and worthy and NO ONE will ever make you feel like you aren't worth love and happiness." I'm so serious, I really said this to myself. It isn't as easy as 1-2-3, but you have to really look in the mirror, do your James Brown dance and tell yourself how amazing you are. It seems silly, but it's the truth.
In some cases, it helps to think of the person you were once with, their shortcomings and even some of the things they've done to hurt you. Yes, it makes you feel better thinking that the ex you once loved is an assclown and listening to Beyonce's "Sorry" over and over again, but I digress. More importantly, however, it makes you realize that NO ONE is perfect. NO ONE. Therefore, you are enough, you are worthy and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Now, I truly believe that life is a journey. There are ups, downs, and in betweens. We go through experiences that shape us into the person we are today. When you feel like someone has rejected you or rejected your love, folks, that ain't NOTHING but a redirection on to something better. A better love, a better relationship, a better sense of happiness with yourself and your partner.
After going through such a tough time, things in my life started to look up. I truly dug deep within and started to find myself, turn myself inside out, like a t-shirt, and work on what needed improving, what needed fine tuning, and most importantly, loving myself above all. Things I would have never done before, I started to do. For example, joining a small group in my church, consistently going to yoga, meditating, writing, praying, reflecting, keeping myself busy with productive activities was something that surprisingly, had I not gone through that "rejection", I might not have ever done. Or would have done that when it was later on in life. Nope, it happened now. This sort of change and transition is permanent in the best way. A redirection into the best version of myself.
Remember, rejection doesn't always have to be from a love in your life, it could be a family member, friend, career, anything really. But if you consistently think about the fact that this rejection is propelling you forward into a better direction in your life -- if you truly have FAITH that something better is around the corner, wonderful and AMAZING things will start to happen.
Think about something you once wanted in your life that you didn't get. Now think about what ended up happening because you of you not getting it. Wasn't it better? I thought so. Have faith, good people. Your life is just beginning. *praise dance*